


Thorns

by Jacynon



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Family Issues, Gen, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-07-18 08:15:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7307110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacynon/pseuds/Jacynon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ienzo reflects on his past with his guardians.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thorns

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate titles include: "Mass Adoption," "How Not To Parent," and "The One Where Ienzo Has Like 5 Dads (And They're All Horrible)"
> 
> Honestly when I first played CoM and KH2 every time I saw Zexion I was like meeehhhh he exists I guess. But holy shit does his character ever get interesting when you realize that like a third of the organization basically are his parents. I have barely read any familial fics surrounding these guys, so here's mine that basically covers all the bases I want covered.
> 
> I didn't really expect this to be like 13k fucking words but I mean it is what it is

When Ienzo was six, his parents died.

He wasn't there when it happened - at least, he didn't witness it as it occurred, only caught a glimpse just after it all transpired. One day, while returning home from his classes, he noticed Radiant Garden guards surrounding his small house, the window shattered and doorknob slightly out of its place from a first failed entry. He never saw the faces of those who did it.

Perhaps he saw his mother's beaten body first. Then again, it could have been his father's.

He couldn't quite recall.

Ienzo had heard before that traumatic events often either burned a memory into one's mind, or were shut out and forgotten entirely. Yet, while he couldn't find himself remembering everything he likely should have from that day, he hadn't blocked it out by any means. It was the first time he'd ever questioned if there was something wrong with him. He knew even from his sheltered life that he wasn't a normal child, but that was decidedly pushing it.

He expected that he would feel grief or sorrow, and then he eventually didn't. More than once, he was told that he was in shock, that he would at one point or another feel the effects of not having his parents anymore.

It never came.

The point was that they were dead. This was a fact. An undeniable truth resting in the back of his mind as he adjusted his eyes to the greys of his new walls. They were a bit lighter than those at his old home. His new bed was a bit firmer than his old one. The ceiling was slightly higher up, as well.

An elderly man by the name of Ansem officially took him in at the age of seven, but he was not the only one to look after him.

Really, Ienzo should have expected that he'd lived with others. What man resided alone in a large castle, regardless of how powerful or wealthy he was? He'd controlled essentially all of Radiant Garden, which Ienzo figured he should have been grateful for. He was clearly in good and capable hands. Unfortunately, this gave him little solace, were he to need any. Which, considering how all treated him, he apparently did.

Once, he considered asking why he couldn't just live in his house, but the question wouldn't come out and his mouth wouldn't move.

This was not new.

He decided to just leave the question alone.

Ansem called him "selectively mute," a condition apparently often seen in victims of trauma. This didn't sit well with the child, as Ienzo was adamant that he'd not been traumatized at all, but everyone around him told him he was.

He also couldn't help but think of how the name didn't fit at all, because Ienzo couldn't _select_ when he was and was not able to speak. Physically, from a scientific point of view, he should have been able to, but he wasn't. And, of course, Ansem was a scientist. This made the man's frustrations with him seem understandable. His speech wasn't any easier to control, though.

It wasn't as if his parents were terrible at all. They gave him what he needed and, so long that he did as he was told and stayed quiet, they wouldn't cause him any trouble and he wouldn't cause them any. He'd been raised to keep to himself, to essentially raise himself. Not speaking to others was not a new concept. It was as if he'd never actually lived with anyone at all.

But yes, the others.

Ienzo only was briefly introduced to them. He went from living with two quiet and often gone strangers who felt more like one cohesive being to living with...five different, distinct, rather loud, and consistently present strangers. They were scientists, he reasoned with himself. He should have expected that they couldn't be silent even if they tried, but then, there were moments where they _could_ calm down, and that just confused him more.

He wished that they could be more consistent. Even in particular, a slender and wispy man who looked stick-thin even under his lab coat, was either the most shrill and noisy person Ienzo had ever met, or the most cool and collected and focused. Aeleus and Dilan were very alike in the fact that their actions were much louder than their words. Braig, on the other hand, just wouldn't shut up, no matter what. They weren't the best first impressions.

Ansem was the only one who never seemed to raise his voice around Ienzo. He wondered if the man even had the capacity to yell.

He'd treated Ienzo like a frightened animal. No, that applied to all the others, as well. Everyone treated him like a ticking time bomb. A slowly heating pot of water that would suddenly and without warning boil over.

It never happened.

Everyone around him expected that he'd feel grief or sorrow, and then they eventually didn't.

* * *

He met all of his new guardians at once. It was somewhat overwhelming.

At first, it felt as though they all essentially treated him the same as his parents did. He wasn't to leave the castle, had to stay out of certain areas, was prohibited from entering the laboratory, and was periodically told of a few other minor limitations. He didn't care too much. It wasn't as if Ienzo had ever exhibited a rebellious streak, and really had nowhere to retreat to, anyway. Running didn't seem much of an option.

He tried to stay out of their way as much as possible. Before living there, he'd never been too interested in science, but something about him being forbidden to partake in the research of his guardians intrigued him. Thus, he would by _complete_ coincidence pass by the laboratory every time he traversed the castle, or listen in on the conversations of the adults - _absolutely_ by accident, mind you.

It made it much easier to interact with the scientists than he'd originally intended.

The one he'd first had a personal interaction with was a man by the name of Aeleus. He had a hair color which Ienzo couldn't quite place as red or brown and a square, almost perpetually frowning face. He and another one of Ansem's apprentices, Dilan, were about the same height, which turned out to be more than twice the size of Ienzo. Yet, something about him lessened how intimidating he was.

There was a strange shift in scent every time he was alone in a room with Ienzo. Like he'd constantly put up a hardened shell and would take it down only with him.

It sort of made Ienzo feel special. He'd heard the man once say to another one of the scientists that he'd always had a soft spot for kids, and that Ienzo reminded Aeleus of someone. Who that was, he couldn't put down, but it served its purpose either way to develop a bond between the two.

He wondered if that bond was the reason for why Aeleus could somehow just... _know_ what he was feeling.

It took a lot of time for Ienzo to perfect having no discernible gaze constantly. This came from his father always asking him what was wrong anytime he'd made a less than pleased face. And whenever he couldn't give a good or straightforward answer, which was always, his father would get angry. He taught himself not to express himself through his facial expressions.

And yet, it seemed like Aeleus could identify Ienzo's feelings no matter what he did.

This became evident on the day he brought a bag of sea salt flavored ice cream to the tower.

It was one of Ienzo's favorite treats. The first day he'd been adopted by Ansem, the man had introduced him to it. He'd never been a fan of sweet things, especially not ice cream, but that specific type was one of the few exceptions. He of course found himself wanting one, observing the man as he handed them out to the other apprentices, but he did his best only to sneak glances and focus on reading his book.

"Ice cream? Are you a child?" Even had asked half-jokingly, despite taking one for himself.

The accusation didn't seem to faze Aeleus, who only blinked and stared blankly. "Master Ansem mentioned this before and I wished to try it."

Both Dilan and Braig shrugged it off, taking their own, and they'd all seemed to enjoy it just as much as Ienzo had when he first had one. He considered bringing it up later to Ansem that he'd wanted one, if he could bring himself to speak, which he likely wouldn't be able to do. Or, perhaps, he could just be patient and wait for his guardian to next crave it.

Just as he was thinking this, Aeleus made his way across the room and held out one of the sticks to Ienzo. The boy snapped his head up in surprise.

"You looked like you wanted one," he explained, as if it was obvious.

Ienzo went over the options in his head, wondering momentarily if taking something from a person he'd not been very well acquainted with was rude, or something. Then again, refusing a kind offer was likely much less appropriate, so he decided to reach out and nod his head in what he wanted to convey as gratitude.

He fought down a smile after it touched his lips. It really was the best thing from his recent life.

The man was staring at him, he realized after a few seconds. Ienzo looked up and understood that he was gauging the boy's reaction, probably thinking it was his first time trying it. "It tastes good," Ienzo said in a quiet and broken voice, if only because he hadn't actually spoken in what felt like ages. He didn't know where it came from, or why he thought it was a good idea to talk, but Aeleus's reaction startled him.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the corners of the taller man's mouth jerk up, just for a moment, just slightly.

Speaking seemed to make Aeleus...happy?

Over time, he became the only one who Ienzo would actually speak to, which put the others off a bit and made Aeleus even more pleased. Ienzo wouldn't say much, but whenever he did, it would never be directed toward anyone else. And why would it? Aeleus actually wanted him to speak, so he would. It appeared to them that, at best, he was picking favorites. Which, he admittedly was.

Aeleus made him feel safe, somehow.

Ansem appeared to just be glad that he was evidently making progress.

Any time Ienzo would put away his books in the right order or ensure that his quarters were always neatly kept, Aeleus was happy. Any time something was out of place or his hair was unkempt and parted wrong, it wasn't as if Aeleus was necessarily _unhappy_ , but the barely identifiable smile was absent, and the smell of the emotional wall he'd put up would become that much more prominent.

It led Ienzo to be as clean and organized as possible.

He realized that he _wanted_ to make Aeleus happy. He wanted to make Aeleus proud. Whenever he didn't, there would form a strange hole in his chest, a sense of intense dread, or perhaps guilt.

Was that the man using his strange ability to manipulate him?

Yet, with a careful examination, it didn't appear to be a special power of Aeleus's that made him able to understand the boy. Ienzo spent nearly twenty minutes in front of the mirror, analyzing his own face, wondering yet again if there was something wrong with him, if living with new people somehow made him more emotional without him even noticing. Was he showing his feelings? Did all of that effort disappear right under his own nose?

When Ienzo would want something or be upset in response to anything, or even when he would find certain words or actions amusing, it seemed like Aeleus could tell. It was almost as if he were reading the boy's mind.

It took some time to bring it up, but Ienzo finally asked how it happened, how exactly the man could tell what he was thinking or feeling despite his constant attempts to ensure otherwise. Since it was the longest he'd spoken in some time, he wondered if he actually got his query across, if his words were clear enough, and if he did or didn't sound immature and frustrated.

As the man closed his book and looked down in thought, Ienzo began to consider dropping the subject, but didn't quite get the chance to.

"You are a child," Aeleus stated in such a flat and inoffensive way that the boy couldn't possibly have taken it as harshly as he may normally have. "You act and react to things the same way any child would."

He couldn't respond.

And for the first time in his life, just for a moment, Ienzo felt somewhat...normal.

* * *

One of the men had long, golden hair. It glimmered and flickered in the sunlit wind. Or, it didn't. Ienzo wouldn't have been surprised to figure out that he'd made that observation up entirely.

By normal standards, Even shouldn't have been objectively attractive, let alone as beautiful or stunning as Ienzo found the man. His face wasn't shaped in a very appealing way, his back was almost constantly hunched over, and his hair was styled in a way that didn't at all complement his face and was, in reality, more of a dull and pale yellow than any shade of gold.

He should have been ugly, actually. And yet, he wasn't.

Ienzo found that all of the unflattering characteristics seemed to perfectly mesh together to create a strange, aged elegance. There also lied a different, glaring quality that he had never brought up to another person, let alone the man in question.

Even smelled almost exactly like mother.

Except, there was a touch of something else. Ienzo couldn't quite place it.

The first time he'd ever felt any level of pain from his parents' death was when he'd received news that Even would be the one to mainly watch over him. It took all of Ienzo's willpower not to throw an internal tantrum over the forced separation between him and Aeleus, but he eventually got over it after his initial time alone with the science-obsessed blond.

Ienzo knew that he wouldn't perfect his sense of smell until much later in his life. Focusing on one and blocking out or ignoring the others was extremely difficult, so he'd never found himself able to put together what a single person's scent was without being alone in a room with them. And once he was with only Even, finally able to at certain points of the day enter the laboratory, it hit him immediately just how familiar it was.

Their personalities, he realized, were actually rather similar. Both Even and Ienzo's mother were quiet and collected at times, yet brash and heated at others. They put all of their energy into their fields of work.

Except, Even was...

"Take your damn hand off that flask," the blond man had ordered him one day.

Stern.

For some reason, Even always treated him as a liability, no matter how desperately Ienzo attempted not to be. In the man's eyes, Ienzo seemed a minor obstacle, someone who got just a bit too much of Ansem's attention. He often referred to him as a child or a boy, but Ienzo's actual age seemed of little consequence when it came to seeing him as competition.

He would forever regret the day he let slip just how much of his guardian's work he actually understood and was genuinely interested in.

The blond man let loose a rare expression of surprise for just a moment, then scowled.

It was then that Ienzo realized the difference between Even and his mother. It wasn't something he had that she didn't. It was the other way around. Ienzo had seen it in the eyes of those around him, felt it from the scents radiating off of normal families. Even didn't have a mother's natural warmth. He didn't have a parent's default compassion for their child.

Even was cold.

If Ienzo's mother was anything, it definitely wasn't cold. She may have been detached and somewhat hard to communicate with, but it was always so obvious that she cared about him. With Even, though, it was hard to tell if he'd even tolerated Ienzo. It made him feel hopeless, even worthless, that he couldn't harbor Even's affections no matter what he did.

He eventually got fed up with this. It might have been his own way of throwing a tantrum and, though he knew it was rather tame, it still felt shameful.

He used his voice in front of Even, something he'd avoided doing as much as physically possible.

"I should leave," he stated quietly one day while the two were in the lab, barely audible, but he could tell the man heard it and slightly jumped. It wasn't as if Ienzo had actually been doing much - all he'd been preoccupying himself with was counting beakers and briefly glancing at the man's own experiments. He couldn't do anything even if he wanted to; Ansem made sure of that. "I'm no help here."

It apparently caught Even off guard, which Ienzo almost smiled at. He pulled the goggles off of his head and raised an incredulous eyebrow at the boy.

The blond man scoffed. "Are you daft? Well - you're clearly not, but you're certainly acting like it," and Ienzo turned his head in shock, unused to being so directly insulted, but Even continued, placing an exasperated and rubber-clad hand over the bridge of his nose. "Master Ansem didn't adopt you just because he felt _sorry_ for one of the many parentless children in Radiant Garden. He saw potential in you. I swear, if you are to tell me that you don't understand your own intellect..."

He left that sentence hanging, allowing the boy a moment of thought. There was a certain way that Even spoke. It was like everything he'd said was undeniable fact, and it made Ienzo feel stupid for even considering otherwise.

For just a moment, Ienzo felt anger.

"Wh - what should I be doing, then?" he asked - no, demanded, in a broken voice, and cursed his own stuttering. It still wasn't very loud, but it was the first time he'd even tried to yell.

At that, Even rolled his eyes. "You're _supposed_ to be observing me. Isn't that obvious?"

 _Observing_ him?

There were a few things Ienzo absolutely hated. Not being able to smell was one, catching lashes in his eyes was another. Yet another was when people treated him as intellectually inferior. Even had quite the habit of doing that, though he did that with essentially everyone he was in the same vicinity as. Perhaps Ansem was the only exception to that.

Though he didn't want to let on just how confused he was, that didn't change the fact that Ienzo had no clue about what exactly he was supposed to be watching. Yes, the men acknowledged on more than one occasion just how wise Ienzo was for his age, but they forbade him from participating in their studies. Then again, those rules seemed to soften over time, considering how many previously off-limits areas of the castle he was then able to freely explore.

He also was surprised that they allowed him in the laboratory at all, even under supervision, especially considering how cautious they'd been at first of him. It was as if his unexpected maturity impressed them, or something, and they decided to reward him.

Honestly, it was like they were planning to make _him_ an apprentice.

... _Oh_ , he thought. _Oh._

His furrowed brows evened out and his defensive stance softened.

Then, all of his thoughts lined up.

He remembered back to the off-handed comments the blond man had made to him and about him. They'd seemed so pretentious and purposefully hurtful that Ienzo attempted not to give them much consideration. The scattered phrases which Ienzo couldn't decide whether to take as insults or compliments suddenly began rushing through his head.

_"You waste your own talents."_

_"Such potential, and he's not even using it."_

_"If he joined our research, the child would surpass even me."_

None of that was said out of jealousy or real malice, as was assumed. Instead, it seemed that Even really _did_ want Ienzo to learn about what he'd been doing, and for a particular reason that Ienzo couldn't possibly argue with. They were neither compliments nor insults; instead, he talked as if they were blunt and true and obvious statements.

Even didn't care whether Ienzo was valued more or less than him by anyone. Jealousy didn't seem an emotion that had come into play at all. In fact, it appeared as though Even was only concerned with furthering their studies.

He thought of Ienzo as a possible asset.

It hit him that the man really _didn't_ harbor negative feelings toward him; not on a genuine level, anyway. He'd acted the exact same to everyone else - cold, detached, objective - and Ienzo had only interpreted these default characteristics as a personal attack on him. But in reality, that was just...Even's way of thinking and acting. It was Even. That was his personality.

Ienzo calmed his body language and returned to his seat, resting his arms on the table in front of him.

"Finally," the blond scoffed, turning back to his work. "Now, keep yourself still, child."

Yes, Even was cold. And Ienzo finally didn't have a problem accepting that.

* * *

He'd walked in on his third guardian once while playing some card game he couldn't quite identify with a few unknown men and women. Braig acted flustered for a moment, likely because he knew Ansem didn't want their castle to be used for anything other than scientific study, and was worried Ienzo would tell him when he'd returned. At least, that was the assumption.

When confronted about it, though, Ienzo only shrugged. He hadn't really planned to bring it up to Ansem at all.

This apparently put him on the, " _List of People Braig Actually Doesn't Hate_ ," which was surprisingly short.

It shocked Ienzo just how laid-back Braig's demeanor was, yet he gave off the feeling of a vastly intelligent and tough warrior at the same time. The man once said he'd "been through a war," and Ienzo didn't really know what that meant, because there hadn't _been_ a recorded war for decades. But with the way he'd acted and with his scent, it was easy to believe anyway.

Something about Braig was respectable. His cunning and wit were admirable, even inspiring, and Ienzo found himself quietly observing out of something that felt like fondness.

Still, the man _smelled_ untrustworthy.

There was something both straightforward and stealthy about his methods of both combat and conversation. He was able to get crucial information out of others with ease, yet still found a way to come off as physically strong and hardheaded, despite only being the former and despite playing long-distance. It was unique.

Ienzo tried shaping himself around those same principles, but just couldn't get the charisma down, and decided to go about his trickery not hidden in plain sight, but merely hidden. After all, he'd wanted to form his own style, not a copy of someone else's.

Still, he took mental notes whenever he saw Braig exercise his mastery of deception.

They'd barely interacted with each other, let alone spoken. Ienzo had said maybe three words to him, which was admittedly more than he'd said to his parents in any given month when they were still alive, but it still wasn't much compared to how he'd talked to Aeleus and Even.

This changed in a remarkably short amount of time.

Someone Braig apparently hadn't been a fan of stepped into their castle one day to speak with Ansem. It wasn't easy to determine what for, but it didn't matter too much, as he hadn't stayed long. The man had short blond hair and multiple earrings and he had a black stench seeping into the entire castle. It was easy to see where the dislike came from, and Ienzo stated as such.

"His heart reeks of darkness," he said gently, not intending to sound nearly as ominous as he ended up being.

Though he didn't look in the man's direction, Ienzo could feel Braig's shocked and interested gaze. The man tried to shrug it off and stated something like, "Guy's owed me fifty for three months - 'course he's got darkness," but he was still visibly shaken. As shaken as he could have possibly appeared, at least.

Just a few days afterward, Ienzo found a book underneath his bed.

It had a portion of Ansem's research, something he'd been forbidden to see and participate in, and he read all of it three times over. It had to do with the study of the heart, how it was composed, what powers it held. He finally got the answers he'd been looking for. And for the first time in quite a while, Ienzo was fascinated, completely immersed in this new concept.

Around a week or so later, the book was replaced with another.

Then, another.

He had no idea who was doing this.

It wasn't Aeleus. The man was much too noble to do anything underhanded with Ansem. It couldn't have been Even - yes, he'd wanted Ienzo to learn more about their studies, but he wouldn't risk his own position and the availability of resources for something so seemingly trivial. Ienzo hadn't even really seen much of Dilan, so it wasn't him.

At least, he had no idea of who it was right until Braig walked in on him reading one of the books.

Ienzo panicked.

It wasn't normal for any of his guardians to enter his quarters, so he hadn't been too careful while in them. And yet, just before he could rush to hide the papers beneath his covers or his pillow, he noticed that Braig didn't look angry, or even surprised. Instead, he shot him a smile, winked, and turned around, closing the door behind him.

He quickly understood that Braig was the one who'd been slipping him Ansem's research notes.

Wasn't that dangerous? Ienzo wasn't allowed to be let in on their studies on Ansem's own orders. By going directly against his wishes, Braig was risking his position as Ansem's apprentice. And...for Ienzo? Was it for the same reason that Even wanted Ienzo to observe him while in the lab? Perhaps the other apprentices also saw potential in him.

An unlikely thought crossed his mind. Had Braig done it for him because he knew how interested Ienzo truly was in what his guardians were researching? It was almost completely out of the realm of possibility. Still, it left him with a nice feeling.

He'd begun to spend more time alone with the man, though he tried his best not to be obvious about it. Why that was, he didn't entirely know. Maybe he was too embarrassed to admit that he'd warmed up to yet another one of his guardians. There was something about Braig that left Ienzo wanting to impress him. It was a bit like how he'd felt towards Aeleus, but in a much less intimately comfortable sense.

"I will need you to look over these notes," he'd heard Ansem say behind him. Ienzo turned around and saw a collection of loosely tied together pieces of paper in Braig's hands. "They are about...what we spoke of earlier."

It was clear that he'd been speaking vaguely just because the boy was in the room. It was somewhat frustrating, but understandable at the same time. After one last glance at Ienzo, Ansem turned around and made his way to his study.

A few seconds passed.

"Hey, kid," Braig whispered to him shortly after the door shut, leaning in close to Ienzo's side. He brought the stack of paper up to the young boy's chest. "I'm a pretty fast reader. You can take a look at this before me - just slip it under my door when you're done, 'kay?"

Ienzo's eyes brightened up and widened a bit.

He could feel the edges of his mouth begin to turn upward in excitement. Yes, he knew that Braig was the one who'd been giving him the documents thus far, but that was the first time they'd ever acknowledged it in conversation. He would get to look at Ansem's studies even before one of his own apprentices? It got Ienzo to feel genuine elation.

The younger of the two took the pages in his hands. He didn't know what possessed him to speak, but he opened his mouth and let out a small, "Thank you."

Suddenly, that sly smile on Braig's face turned to a tooth-showing grin. He seemed pleased to hear Ienzo speak, as well, and ruffled the boy's hair.

Ienzo read over the notes as quickly as he could, jotted down his own copy, and just as he'd been told to, passed it under Braig's door when no one else had been in the halls. The week following was filled with short glances and smiles between the two of them, as well as Ienzo mulling over everything he'd learned. It went far more in depth than he'd expected it to.

Information about what hearts could do, what it meant to bind hearts together, what it meant to take a heart from a person - it was all there, even if not everything was gone into in equal detail.

Ienzo was _dying_ to learn more about their research. More than that, he wanted to _join_ them.

It didn't take long for him to wonder if his original impression of Braig had been at least a little bit inaccurate. Never before had his sense of smell been wrong about a person, but there was a first time for everything, right? And he hadn't quite perfected how to control his ability. Braig had been exceedingly kind, as well as intuitive about what Ienzo actually wanted.

Perhaps he really _could_ trust the man.

Then, one rather quiet night, he'd passed by the main laboratory.

It wasn't as if he'd been ordered a bedtime while in the castle, but his parents had previously given him one, and he'd never stopped following it. It could have been out of respect, or just out of habit. Even so, he began to slowly grow out of it. Something inside of him made him feel like he'd get into some sort of trouble if he stayed up too long, but he eventually decided that this was an illogical fear, and made his way to the library for a bit of late reading.

"You will not _use_ him," came the disgusted voice of Ansem. " _None_ of us will use him. He is but a child."

The boy stopped. For some reason, his stomach seemed to drop.

Braig laughed, but it was forced and strained. "Calm down, it was - y'know, it was a joke. For the most part. But you've gotta admit, that kid's got a hell of a nose on him. Keep that in mind, alright?"

He didn't really know why he hurried to the library as quickly as he did.

Something about the short portion of the conversation he'd heard made him feel sick. They were _obviously_ talking about him. The context was still needed, but they were _talking_ about him. What did they mean by _using_ him? For an experiment? No, he was jumping to conclusions. Perhaps it was just for joining their research. Those two possibilities had very different connotations. Still, there was something about the way Braig spoke that made him imagine it as more of the former than the latter.

He needed to calm down.

Trying to shake the experience off, he grabbed a random book from the shelf, one he'd never read before, and tried to clear his mind. It didn't work very well, and he couldn't focus on the words through his sudden nausea.

It made no sense to take it so seriously and so harshly. Braig was one of his guardians. Braig had encouraged his personal interests in ways no one else had. Braig had been _nothing_ but nice to him throughout the entire time Ienzo knew him. Assuming that Braig was attempting to do any harm to him at all was surely a complete insult to his integrity.

 _Still_ , he thought. _Still_.

Ienzo decided pretty quickly that while he still liked Braig, he could never bring himself to trust the man, even if he'd wanted to.

* * *

None of the ones who were assigned to take care of him were pure of heart, but Dilan certainly came close.

Ienzo only realized this the first time he got sick.

He'd been sick before, yes, but that was the first time since he'd moved in with his new guardians. Colds were probably the bane of his existence; for one, not being able to smell anything was the absolute worst thing he'd so far had to deal with. It affected his sense of balance and awareness of his surroundings, as well as his sense of taste. Also, he hated having others worry for him or about him.

For the first few days or so of his cold, he didn't mention anything.

Being sick wasn't incredibly new, so he understood how to deal with it without bothering those around him.

However, it was a lot easier to hide when he lived with two people and not five.

While sweeping the main hall, both Dilan and Even in deep and low conversation about something he hadn't even bothered to listen in on, Ienzo felt the dust along with the sickness catch up to him. Having a cold made him miserable, as well as a bit more than hyper-aware of his surroundings. He'd done well to hide his coughing and sniffling, but the itch came and he, very regretfully, sneezed.

About four times in a row, in fact.

_Uh oh._

The only other two present looked at each other and then at Ienzo, gazes suspicious. Before he could think of anything to say, perhaps to just use the excuse of allergies, Even had already placed his book on the shelf and was making his way to the boy. He leaned down and took Ienzo's face in his hands, carefully observing him, taking note of his puffed up eyes and reddened nose.

Then, just for good measure, he touched their foreheads together and immediately grew an irritated look on his face. Ienzo wanted so badly to shrink into the wall behind him out of - well, he wasn't sure. Fear? Shame?

"He's sick," the man stated, finally releasing him and looking to Dilan.

Being sick shouldn't necessarily have been embarrassing, but something about the scrutinizing gazes from the older men made him turn his head away, hiding his flushed face. It was made slightly more bearable when Even pulled away and spoke to the other man quietly from across the room, but it still lingered. Having his head so terribly plugged up made him unable to hear what they were saying, but he wished that he could.

Were they discussing some sort of punishment for him? He might not have been in the right state of mind, but that still seemed incredibly unlikely and not at all a fair retribution. Yes, the scientists could be rude and uncaring at moments, but they weren't ever _cruel_ to him.

Were they considering telling Ansem about it, and having him deal with Ienzo instead? That sounded even worse, somehow. Ansem may not have been very fatherly, but he had a soft spot for Ienzo, and likely would have tried to take care of him. While that wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing on the surface, it would definitely have crushed his remaining pride.

Through his internal conflict, he hadn't even processed Dilan approaching him.

"Come with me," the man said firmly.

Unlike Aeleus, the sheer size and intense stare of Dilan was _genuinely_ intimidating.

So, he couldn't really do much other than follow the scientist, without actually knowing where he was being led. As he passed by Even, he couldn't quite tell what the tight and narrow expression on the blond's face meant, and tried not too think too hard about it.

They both walked slowly to, as Ienzo finally realized, the dining area. His head felt overcooked. He could feel his throat itch and, with his nose blocked off, tried his hardest not to breathe too loudly through his mouth. It almost made him lightheaded.

Ienzo wasn't sure what made him hate colds so much. Well, actually, he was.

Not being able to smell was like going blind in one eye. It was worse than actual pain, in his opinion. While working with Even once, he accidentally spilled acid on his left index finger and evidently handled it better than most adults. Yet the minute his sinuses ever get clogged up, the exact moment he can't smell, he feels like he's dying. That time was no exception.

"Wait here," Dilan said.

Without a word, Ienzo sat down and watched as his guardian entered the kitchen. It gave him a few moments to calm himself. He could imagine what Dlian was doing at the moment; probably grabbing some sort of medicine for him. Ienzo couldn't really think of any other possibility.

 _Great_.

So, it wasn't any of the scenarios that he'd pictured, but it was on around the same level of terrible.

He'd waited in the dining area patiently, feeling more and more like a very small child as each second passed by, sitting silently in his own shame. If the adults hadn't taken Ienzo seriously before, there was absolutely _no_ chance that they would after this ordeal. Having to be taken care of was ultimately humiliating, in his opinion, even if it was technically the job of a legal guardian.

By the time Dilan reentered the room, he couldn't even look at the man.

At least, not until he'd carefully placed a hot mug into the boy's hands.

"This is a special kind of herbal tea," Dilan explained. "It's supposed to have healing properties."

So, he was partially right. It turned out to be a type of medicine, sort of. Avoiding Dilan's gaze entirely, Ienzo stared down at the light green liquid. The cup was warm in his hands and he could tell even through his cold that it smelled faintly like a mixture of cinnamon and honey. It wasn't a combination that he'd been used to, but the flavors were so subtle that they swirled together perfectly.

Part of him didn't want to drink it, yet he knew that refusing to do so would not only have been rude, but also extremely childish. He was already in too deep - he wished that he could have controlled his own sickness better so that Dilan and Even wouldn't have noticed, but it wasn't as if he could do anything about it then. His head started to hurt.

"Sorry," Ienzo said quietly, even moreso than normal because of his sore throat. The tea suddenly looked rather good after he'd actually acknowledged just how much his throat hurt. After a few sips, he came to the surprising conclusion that it tasted even better than it smelled.

It felt smooth and made the back of his mouth numb.

After a moment, the man's eyes narrowed in confusion. "What are you apologizing for?"

Ienzo's chest tensed up.

Was Dilan really trying to make him _say_ it? He was apologizing for having to be taken care of, obviously. That much should have gone without saying. And yet, it seemed like he truly didn't understand, and that only made the question even worse. Ienzo began searching his brain and keeping his mouth occupied with the rapidly helping tea, eventually shrugging.

"It's..." he coughed, bringing a hand up to cover his mouth. "I don't like being sick and having - having others take care of me."

In response, the black haired man turned his head upward and huffed. "That's nothing to apologize for," he stated blankly, words more straightforward and blunt than comforting. Ienzo figured that it was fairly common for scientists to talk in that certain way, or perhaps just for this particular group. "You are our responsibility, and there is no shame in having others help you when you are unwell."

 _Yes, there is_ , he wanted to immediately respond, but kept his mouth shut. He knew in his mind that what Dilan had said made perfect sense, and there wasn't much room to argue. What would have been the point in arguing? He imagined that it was just part of the man's nature - that taking care of one of his own was a given, something he hadn't even needed to think about. That was how he'd been acting, at least.

Ienzo decided that, while Dilan could be rather emotionally stunted, his heart without a doubt held more good and nobility than any of the others.

"I - I guess that you're right," he stuttered, his shoulders going slack and his gaze turning downward, because the man _was_ right, no matter how much Ienzo wanted to decline it. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed something peculiar.

Dilan was...smiling.

He'd completely forgotten about his previous embarrassment, just for a moment, and gave a small smile in return.

From then on, even after Ienzo had fully gotten over his cold, even after they became Nobodies and stopped understanding how to feel, Dilan always seemed to carry the faint scent of cinnamon and honey.

* * *

It was hard to call Lea and Isa his friends.

They were just...the only ones who actually decided to speak to him once he started to sneak out. He liked them, enjoyed their company, but he didn't really know much about them. Or, it was more like they seemed to know a lot more about each other than he knew about either of them and he often felt like an unwanted and extra addition to an already complete duo.

As for how the sneaking out began, well...

It started with Ienzo feeling as though the confines of the castle were a bit more than suffocating. If he were perhaps allowed to participate in his guardian's studies, he may not have been so utterly _bored_.

That, and Braig was essentially the only one who actually wanted him to indulge in his own desires, what with him constantly slipping Ienzo research notes and teaching him what probably would not be allowed by any of the other apprentices. Ansem was very clear on his instructions not to leave the castle, which was greatly enforced by the other three, all with varying degrees of severity and success.

He wasn't sure when it became so exhausting.

So much for not having a rebellious streak.

Then again, his want to escape from the castle increased dramatically after meeting Lea and Isa.

They were like the embodiment of fire and ice, only barely coexisting, both constantly clashing, neither relenting. Being in-between the two of them was indescribable. A cold and hot front always dancing in the air together and against each other. Lea would always drag them both into dangerous situations, where Isa would try to be the voice of reason, despite still going along with them. It was hard to imagine the two apart. It seemed like they completed each other, for all their differences.

And then there was Ienzo.

He'd never felt quite so out of place, despite Lea's attempts to bring him out of his shell and all he seemed to have in common with Isa. Still, he couldn't say he disliked being around them.

And, at the very least, being around them brought him a sort of revelation.

When his parents had been alive, Ienzo didn't really have friends, let alone ones who wanted him to talk.

Yet after stopping to think and reflect for a bit, he realized that currently _everyone_ around him seemed to actually want him to talk and, in fact, expressed great interest in what he had to say. Aeleus derived pride from seeing him come out of his shell, whereas Even and Braig seemed rather fascinated with his intellectual prowess despite, or perhaps because of, his age. Ansem and Dilan lied somewhere between.

Whenever he spoke in front of or to Lea, the redhead would brighten up considerably. It would have been tiring if Isa had not been there. The blue-haired boy was alike him in nature; they somehow bonded without having to express much to each other verbally. Still, it was clear that he still cared about whatever Ienzo talked about, when he did.

It was jarring to know that people wanted to hear him talk.

Also rather surprising was the one time that he'd brought up the studies that his guardians were taking part in. It was a brief mention, but both of them seemed to latch onto it immediately. Lea wanted to know out of pure curiosity, while Isa was shockingly fascinated with the nature of the studies.

Something about Isa never felt quite right, and that quickly came to a head.

It was as if he'd put up a constant emotional wall. He could even have been considered rudely distant at times, especially towards Lea, though the latter boy didn't seem to mind or even notice. And yet, there was a strange, underlying _burning_ of...well, Ienzo couldn't really place it. Like he'd been desperately hiding powerful and extreme emotions at all times.

There was a weird pressure placed on him that he hadn't felt before, something inside that was telling him he needed to show them the research he'd recorded and found from his guardians, like he had an obligation to them after getting their initial interest.

"A secret passage?" Lea had asked him one day. "Well, why didn't you say so before? Isa and I have been trying to get into that castle for _months_ now!"

Well.

He hadn't mentioned it beforehand, but that was because it technically _wasn't_ a secret passage.

It had been boarded up, likely an unfinished and forgotten walkway from when Ansem first had the building created. It lead from the back of the building to the upstairs, near the personal quarters, and exited through a walled-off entrance. Still, with the two's help, Ienzo made sure to clear the way without the scientists noticing. And thankfully, it had been near his own room.

The following months went by with him confiding in them the studies of his guardians. It was strange, he felt, to have actual friends.

How they never were caught, Ienzo had no idea.

He never directly saw either of them lose their hearts, even though he eventually knew it happened. And because of everything he'd done, because of how much he told them about everything, Ienzo always found that he couldn't place the blame on anyone but himself, no matter how hard he tried.

There were a few times he found himself wondering if they went together at the time, or alternatively, which one went first.

* * *

Curiosity.

Though it took some time, Ienzo was actually starting to come to terms with the fact that he did, indeed, have normal human feelings. It wasn't as if he'd actively denied it before, but he knew that he tried to subconsciously act as if he didn't. Being around Isa, someone who served to parallel his own actions and self-directed treatments, made him realize this more quickly than he may have normally.

However, most of what he seemed to know was painful curiosity.

It had been weeks since he'd come to a particular conclusion. He _would_ request that he be an official apprentice to Ansem. This was not a desire that would elude him, one of those _well, if I were able to speak_ , moments. Ienzo was determined to make this happen.

He'd never been so utterly set on something before. He'd wanted to learn more about the nature of the heart since he'd first learned that it had been the subject of their studies. Even and Braig both encouraged his interests, only furthering this desire, and he _knew_ that he had to do something about it.

The only issue was that he had no idea what.

After going through the different scenarios in his head, he came to the conclusion that he needed to be straightforward with Ansem if he were to ever get anywhere. The man hated it when Ienzo danced around subjects or acted anything other than unwavering and sure.

He decided that the best way to handle the situation would be to directly ask him. Request outright to be his apprentice. He approached the man as he sat at his desk, eyes focused on the book in front of him. Ienzo gently placed a hand on his guardian's arm and stared, attempting to silently convey that he wanted to say something.

"Yes?" Ansem asked patiently. "What is it, Ienzo?"

His throat constricted. For some reason, he couldn't speak.

What was this? He hadn't felt it in some time, the physical inability to talk. He couldn't get the words out, no matter how much he tried or wanted to, even if he opened his mouth to do so. It was like there was something blocking him from asking the question, something forcefully stopping him from confronting Ansem about what he wanted for the first time.

And he realized that it came from an underlying fear that his words would incite a negative reaction. It was obvious. It was the source of all the times he'd suddenly turned mute. He thought he was above such an anxiety, but he'd obviously been wrong about that.

Feeling irritation and anger boil in his stomach, Ienzo shook his head and hurried up to his room. Really, he didn't even know why he had to be the one to bring it up. He'd assumed that his interest in the subject was obvious, and that he was just waiting to jump at the chance to work with them. Was he not being clear enough in his mostly nonverbal hinting?

No, that couldn't have been it.

It had been _years_ since he'd started to live with the five men, and they all had thus far acknowledged more than once that he was more than capable of taking on what they were researching, especially for someone his age. He was frustrated with Aeleus and Dilan for treating him like a child. He was frustrated with Even and Braig for _teasing_ him with the bare minimum of information. More than that, he was frustrated with Ansem for somehow doing both.

And damn it, he was absolutely frustrated with _himself_ , because he couldn't just say what he needed to.

Once he entered his bedroom, he intended to lay on his bed and take a long nap. Unfortunately, it was occupied.

Lea raised his free hand to wave, while the other held one of Ienzo's books.

It wasn't entirely unusual to have Lea and Isa sneak in without his knowledge, but it never ceased to make him nervous. If they were caught, that meant he would get in trouble, as well. That fact combined with how he almost _never_ saw one without the other and made him even more confused. It seemed as thought they were attached to each other. And yet, the blue haired boy was nowhere in sight.

"Where is Isa?" he asked immediately, then added, "It's dangerous to be in here without telling me."

Closing the book and placing it on the bed, Lea sat up and shrugged. "Isa said he was busy. Didn't say much about what he was doing, though. And it doesn't seem like any of your dads come into your room," he explained simply. Ienzo ignored the name that Lea decided to give his guardians, and the redhead continued, "You look a little tense. Something wrong?"

And like a fire-hose, all at once, it came out.

"Yes! I don't understand them!" he yelled, shoulders hiking up momentarily. He saw Lea flinch and his eyes widen, but Ienzo kept speaking. "They speak incessantly about needing more resources, about needing more help in their studies, yet they _refuse_ to include me. _I am right here!_ Ansem treats me as a child, even though he knows that I have the potential to aid in their research. He knows it and so do the rest of them! What are they waiting for? What am I to do? Am I doing something _wrong?_ They - "

"Hang on, _woah_ ," in the middle of Ienzo's rant, Lea held up his hands. "Calm down for a second. You get hit by the Crazy Train? This isn't like you."

It seemed to snap Ienzo out of his anger almost instantly. He knew that he was overreacting, but after such a long time of never complaining about it, he'd accrued so much annoyance about the subject that he was unsure of how to handle it. Walking toward the concerned redhead, Ienzo sat on the bed and buried his face in his hands.

Of course, Lea wasn't the best at giving advice, but it wasn't as if Ienzo had anyone else to talk to. Taking a deep breath, he lined his thoughts up and looked at his friend. "I want to work with my guardians. I thought that I'd ask Ansem to allow it, but," he cut himself off and shook his head. "Even if I did make the request, he wouldn't let me. There's no point."

His hopelessness made Lea raise an eyebrow and cross his arms.

"You...know that for sure?" he asked carefully. "I mean, he might be pretty strict, but the worst he could do is say no. And you're not even working with 'em now, so it's not like you'd be losing anything."

Ienzo hated it when _he_ was the one being irrational.

Even worse was the fact that Lea, of all people, was giving him practical advice. It made sense from all angles. He hated that it made sense, but it did. Did he really have anything to lose? It couldn't possibly have hurt to try, right? Facing rejection wasn't something he'd been entirely foreign to, anyway. Even if it came from someone he'd highly respected, such as Ansem, it wouldn't have been the end of his world.

"You're..." he nodded, trying to convince himself that he had nothing to fear. "You're right. I at least have to _try_."

Just like that, he was headed back down the stairs.

His redheaded friend might have waved to him or said some encouraging words as he walked away, but he didn't pay them any attention. There were moments of hesitation, but he ignored them and steeled himself as he stood next to Ansem. The man looked over to Ienzo with intrigue, waiting patiently for the boy to speak.

He took a deep breath and steadied himself. "I request to be included in your research. I wish to become your apprentice."

Of any reaction, he hadn't anticipated the look of abject horror and what seemed like _heartbreak_ in Ansem's face.

It took Ienzo aback.

What was that, exactly? Not once had he before seen such emotion displayed on his guardian's face. Had he done something that wrong? He'd barely even said anything, didn't even explain himself or his motives for why, and already the answer was so negative. Was Ansem _this_ against him joining their studies? Yes, he forbade Ienzo from involving himself before, but he seemed to at least warm up to the idea over time.

The man frowned and narrowed his eyes sadly before simply asking, "Why?"

"I..." Ienzo was unsure of how to respond. The conversation hadn't gone the direction that he'd expected, but he had to at least get his point across. "I believe that I may be a helpful asset to you all, as well as to what you are working on."

Even more emotion mixed into Ansem's expression as his frown deepened. "Did Braig tell you this, Ienzo?"

No, he decided that this conversation _really_ wasn't going the way he'd expected it to.

Braig? Why was he suddenly part of this?

Ienzo hadn't once mentioned Braig. A spark of anxiety rushed through him as he tried to put the pieces together. Perhaps Ansem was somehow aware of what his other guardian had been teaching him, of the fact that Ienzo had delved himself into their experiments and discoveries already, but that sounded extremely unlikely. Not only that, but it was unlike Ansem to simply sit back and allow something of that nature to happen.

Then, what - ?

Suddenly, the night he'd accidentally overheard a conversation between the two men came flooding back to him.

His stomach dropped. It seemed so long ago, but the words were fresh in his memory, and it immediately took on a whole new meaning. He'd been slightly younger and much less aware of just how much darkness his guardians truly had inside of them. _Using_ him. Had Braig been trying to get him involved the entire time? Manipulating him into eventually working with them?

But, what was so bad about that, exactly?

Ienzo knew that he was genuinely interested in matters of the heart, from a scientific perspective. He _wanted_ to officially join them. That was his own personal desire, regardless of outside influence.

"No," he said, finally coming to a conclusion and shaking his head. "He has nothing to do with this. I am interested in learning and working under you for the sole reason that I crave the knowledge."

It wasn't entirely clear whether that was the right thing to say or not, because Ansem's face shifted back into neutrality. Ienzo considered this a possible good sign, as this was his guardian's default expression, and it calmed him down slightly. Ansem appeared deep in thought, seriously considering the boy's words, and it seemed more and more unlikely that the answer would be a _yes_ as the seconds passed.

Regret filled his gut. He shouldn't have even brought it up in the first place.

He wanted to take it back, to tell Ansem that he'd changed his mind about it all. More than anything, he didn't want the relationship between him and his guardian to be tainted in any way. After what felt like two full minutes under the surveying gaze, Ienzo opened his mouth to end the conversation.

Before he could speak, though, the man stood. His size compared to Ienzo served only to intimidate the boy. "I confess that I am not ignorant of your intellect," Ansem stated hesitantly. "That, and I am aware that having you to research under me would likely further our progress. You seem to have become rather well acquainted with my other apprentices, as well."

As Ienzo listened to his guardian slowly speak, he began to wonder if he really _did_ have a chance. Ansem was listing off perfectly logical reasons to allow the boy a role as his apprentice, but there was a certain apprehension in his voice that made Ienzo anxious. He looked down and began quietly, "In that case - "

"However," Ansem said firmly, interrupting the boy. "I cannot in good conscience let a child take part in our research. The work I and my apprentices put ourselves through is taxing and dangerous. You must understand I could not allow my own child to put himself in harm's way."

"That's - !"

Before Ienzo could even process what Ansem had said, let alone respond rationally to it, the man held a hand up to silence him. Ansem folded his arms and sighed, closing his eyes. "At least, that is what I would _like_ to say," he forced out in what sounded like defeat. "But I must admit that for what we are studying, we seem at a severe disadvantage. I care deeply for the people in Radiant Garden, though unfortunately not many seem keen on pursuing the science my apprentices and I have been working with."

The response took a few moments to sink in.

Was that a _yes?_ Was it even an answer? There were certain times that Ansem's vague and cryptic speech would get on Ienzo's nerves. The man very rarely seemed to give a straight answer. He wanted to demand that Ansem get it over with and just tell him what to do, but the words wouldn't come out.

"I see," was all he could say, but he really didn't understand at all.

Yet again, Ansem let out an exasperated sigh. "Forgive me for my indecisiveness, my child. I will discuss my decision with the others, though know that I have already made it."

"You - you _have?"_

The man nodded in response. "Yes," he said. "There are many preparations to be made for you to become my apprentice. I shall inform you of any updates at a later time. You will need to understand the risks and the duties of a scientist working under me, as well as understand that I _will_ hold you to the same expectations as my other apprentices. Is this clear?"

At first, Ienzo didn't fully comprehend what the other was saying. No longer was the man speaking in riddles, but instead was talking as if he'd already allowed Ienzo the position. The boy replayed the conversation multiple times in his head, trying to find ways that he could have interpreted this wrong, and came up with nothing. Yes, it was exactly as he'd construed.

Ansem had accepted his request.

It was hard to respond. Eventually, his dry throat spat out, "Yes," and he'd stumbled back to his then empty room. He hadn't even registered until later that Lea had left in the short time he'd been in the other room.

The next few days became something of a blissful haze. He gradually was accepted as a member of the scientific team, was given a set of guidelines, and even received words of celebration and acceptance from his other guardians.

It seemed like a dream come true when he was finally allowed to help his guardians with their studies, to truly become Ansem's apprentice.

Part of him expected that, due to his age, he wouldn't have been taken seriously. And yet, as time went on, he realized that this wasn't the case at all. The others treated him just as they would have any fellow scientist. They'd even introduced him to Ansem's other new student, who might have had a bit more darkness within him than the others, but Ienzo accepted him regardless through his dulled anticipation.

At the very least, Xehanort had some interesting ideas.

* * *

Being whole again was essentially what he'd expected.

It was cathartic, as well as terribly devastating.

Losing his heart and turning into a Nobody didn't make him lose his memories, though he wished it did. He knew and remembered clearly how he felt about the ones around him, could recall the ghosts of affection, appreciation, admiration, and a million other emotions, but the only problem lied in the fact that he couldn't experience them anymore. He knew how it felt, but could no longer feel it.

It was strange, like they were all walking corpses.

Shadows of who they used to be.

There was a lot of confusion when they first woke up. The first person Ienzo saw was Lexaeus - no, _Aeleus_ \- whose eyes were probably just as confused as his own. Then, they both looked over to Axel - no, _Lea_ \- who was muttering to himself and looking into his own reflection. While he still had the Organization cloak on, he was clearly no longer a Nobody.

For a while, they had some issues.

It began as confused talking, then devolved into angry and distressed shouting, and eventually into a physical confrontation. Ienzo wasn't proud to say that he hadn't initially taken everything too well. The other two were also in the same situation, though Lea less so. They fought with each other for a bit, but quickly all collapsed from their previous exhaustion.

It got them nowhere.

They came to the conclusion that they had to all calm down, and separated themselves for the next hour or so into different rooms, bringing the then unconscious Dilan and Even into their own respective quarters. Then, afterwards, they recollected back at the castle's base area.

There was an extensive search for Braig and Isa. However, it became clear that they were nowhere to be found.

All they could do was collect their thoughts, recover, and think of a plan. Well, that was the chosen course of action for Ienzo and Aeleus. On the other hand, Lea decided to go bring the missing two back on his own. How he was going to do that, Ienzo didn't know for sure. Still, he decided to take the time to relax himself and organize the events of the past few hours, at least.

A few things didn't add up.

He hunched over the cracked table in deep thought.

Of course, he barely had trouble coping with being a real person again after his initial problems. Those mainly spawned from the confusion, really. Whether he was Zexion or Ienzo, it hardly made a difference. He could feel the change, yes, but emotions had never quite come easily to him, anyway. Aeleus had enough control over his feelings that the transition wasn't too mentally straining. And even as a Nobody, Lea was prone to at least pretending to feel.

Well - he supposed that they didn't exactly handle being normal people again _quite_ as well as they should have...

Though he seemed to have a decent grasp on his feelings, Dilan had a vibrant sense of nobility and a strong, bright scent. Knowing all he'd done as a Nobody must have been killing him, figuratively speaking, hence his state.

That left the rest.

The first anomaly was Even. Him being unstable was illogical.

Ienzo figured that he understood the blond. He had a hard time with emotions, as well. He wasn't plagued with feelings like the rest of them; at least, not in the same sense. Or, well, that was what he'd _thought_ , but he was clearly wrong. He could smell them from there, even though they'd been put in separate, higher-up rooms in the tower. Their beings fluctuated at an alarming rate, indicative only of those who were just getting used to having hearts again.

Under normal circumstances, it would have all added up perfectly. Of course, that would have included assuming that "normal circumstances" entailed that Ienzo didn't personally know Even.

His eyes traveled to Aeleus, who'd been crouched down and browsing the bookshelves, thinking to himself for the most part, before he opened his mouth to speak. "Why do you believe Even is finding being a person again so difficult?"

"Why?" There was a pause. Aeleus put a finger to his lips in contemplation and looked down. Then, he stood and turned, walking over to Ienzo. Before he responded, he placed a strong hand on the younger man's shoulder. "Believe it or not, Even is...emotional. He simply wasn't the best at showing it. Having a heart again must be hard for him."

It was funny how, after all of those years, Ienzo hadn't even taken that possibility into consideration, and in fact immediately rejected the idea.

Was Even really that much more prone to emotional instability than Ienzo had ever been aware of? It felt strange to think that he'd been wrong for so long, that his perception of one of his guardians was so far off the mark. And yet, it also made an odd bit of sense, considering Even's often sharp and sudden mood swings and his stifled, cold scent.

He decided to, for the moment, leave the thought alone. Aeleus removed his hand and went back to the other side of the room.

Next came Braig and Isa.

They were gone, which _didn't_ make sense, despite the fact that he'd been turning over the issue in his mind for the last few hours. If he was right, they should have lost their hearts at that time, too. In that exact location as well, even. He attempted more than once to rationalize it, to come up with a logical explanation for why it made sense. It _had_ to make sense.

"It wouldn't be hard to believe that they are simply in an in-between world, even if we are currently all here," he tried to reason aloud. "Perhaps their physical positions at the time or the ways in which their hearts were originally extracted were different, even slightly, which would mean that their resurrections would likely hold different circumstances and thus - "

"You talk _way_ too much," Lea interrupted, startling Ienzo out of his rambling.

He leaned against the bookshelf opposite to the others, arms crossed.

"Funny," retorted Aeleus. "Last I thought you were leaving."

The redhead cocked his head to the side, looking once to the older man, then turned his attention to Ienzo. "Can you ask your _dad_ to mind his own business?" he inquired mockingly, thankfully in a rhetorical manner, and rolled his eyes. "I forgot to tell you something. You're gonna want to make sure the secret passage we created in the castle is sealed off - it's kinda right next to Even's room."

The other two looked up in surprise. Ienzo's shock came from the fact that he'd completely forgotten about it, whereas Aeleus's came from the fact that he'd never even heard of such a thing.

"The _what_?"

Yeah, there it was. Aeleus was upset, but a calm upset, the type that scared Ienzo as a kid. It made him more apprehensive than any time the older man yelled or swung his large weapon around or smashed in walls. Maybe it was the rarity of it, but it clearly only affected him, as Lea shrugged.

He gave a one-shoulder shrug and looked away. "What? How _else_ do you think Isa and I got into the castle all the time? I figured you all knew about it already. Thought you might wanna close it up, just in case our unstable friends try to make a break for it, but I guess it doesn't matter."

A pained voice to their right, along with footsteps, made them all turn their heads. "Well, if only I had known that sooner."

Ienzo looked away to hide a smile. "Impeccable timing, Even."

As a child, Ienzo hadn't called the blond by his name, and didn't think it very befitting of their age difference to be on a first name basis. While they were both members of the organization and had a generally equal standing, as well as a lack of emotional attachment to each other, he had no trouble referring to him as Vexen. Using his name now, though - his _real_ name - while they were both still experiencing a rush of previously absent feelings, seemed sort of personal.

"Oh, hey, you're still here," as he said this, Lea waved over to the scientist.

The easy-going nature soothed Ienzo's lingering worries a bit. Yes, while his friend had changed over time, he still kept his core personality. Like always, almost nothing seemed to bother him deeply.

Over the years, Lea had grown to be quite a bit more cynical. He'd calmed down considerably in many different ways. Before, Ienzo could smell a blazing bonfire. Looking at him then, however, the man gave off the scent of a steady flame. Something that still existed, but remained controlled and subdued. Lea had complete dominion over his own abilities, possibly moreso than any other.

Being a Nobody dramatically changed his personality; that much was obvious.

"Anyway," the redhead began once more. "Don't expect me to come back alone again. The next time I see all of you, I'll make sure to have the other two with me."

And of course, being a real person brought back his inherent determination. It wasn't as if he'd been entirely lazy as a Nobody, but he certainly wasn't as enthusiastic as before. The overall excitement that Lea had previously always exhibited finally returned to him, which thankfully lifted the spirits of the other newly put-together people.

Lea was once again gone after that exchange, off to retrieve Braig and Isa, though Ienzo knew he was mostly looking for the latter.

It left Ienzo alone with two of his former guardians, as well as a third still resting and recovering in a higher-up bedroom.

"Why is this portion of the castle in such shambles?" Even asked, face showing irritation. "I'd thought that the only place to be affected by our last... _experiment_ , I suppose, was the laboratory."

Both Ienzo and Aeleus tensed up.

The grey haired young man leaned against the desk and averted his eyes, grimacing. At the same time, Aeleus crossed his arms and grunted in exasperation. "That's our fault," he said, almost sheepishly. "The three of us all woke up at around the same time and - for a bit, at least - we got into an altercation. Our minds weren't entirely in the right state. That, and we essentially took the place apart while looking for the other two."

"An altercation," Ienzo let out a huff of laughter. "I'd say that it was a bit more than that. If I recall correctly, you tried to take Lea's head off with one of the isolation containers," he said, gesturing to the scattered broken glass.

At that, Aeleus turned to him and said, "I didn't see you try to stop me."

The young man shrugged. "Call me bitter."

It wasn't entirely the truth. In the heat of the moment, the three were ready to murder each other. Well, it more felt as though both Aeleus and Ienzo were about willing to take apart Lea together, for various reasons, but they had their share of emotional baggage, as well. It didn't last long, but it was enough to make the castle a complete wreck. Ienzo really _didn't_ hate the others for what they did while in the Organization.

He wasn't known for being hypocritical. Hating them meant also hating himself.

"I imagine you've all calmed down," the blond said, tone hesitant in such a way that it almost sounded like a question. The others couldn't really blame him for that. "Where has Lea run off to?"

"Though I can't say that I know the full answer, he said that he was going to look for Braig and Isa," Ienzo responded carefully.

Even nodded in reply, moving over to scan the bookshelf. Despite it likely not having been too long, it felt like a lifetime since they'd all been back at the castle. This was especially true for Ienzo, whose age made it hard for him to adjust properly to such drastically different lifestyles. He'd only just become an adult, and even that wasn't entirely by everyone's standards.

He was still probably only a child in their eyes, though perhaps that happened to be his insecurities talking. They'd never treated him like a child while they were all in the Organization. In a certain sense, joining it somehow made them equals.

At the very least, it seemed to erase their pasts with each other.

The time they'd spent as Nobodies had likely been but a flash of light in the gazes of his elders, while it felt like an eternity from his own perspective. They'd been so empty, so desperate to get their hearts back. Ienzo remembered looking at his former guardians through Zexion's eyes with a faint shadow of pain, a longing to see them how he had before, to regain the lost emotion he'd experienced whenever he thought of them.

And yet, he wondered what exactly that emotion _was_.

He scanned the others and reflected back on his time with them.

It was strange to think about how he'd hit it off so easily with Aeleus. The two were nearly inseparable for the most part and, even as Nobodies, spent more time around each other than either had with anyone else. He was kind, emotionally softer than the others, though one who didn't personally know him would have no idea. It seemed as though Ienzo was the only one he'd been vulnerable around.

Of course, Even was different.

Even treated him more as an equal than anyone else had, even during the times that he'd called Ienzo a _boy_ or a _child_. Likely more than anyone else, he saw the potential in Ienzo and wanted immediately to take advantage of that. They got along well enough as whole people and, even through his lack of emotion, Ienzo found himself enjoying his banter with Vexen as Zexion more than he felt he should have.

Somewhat a mix of the two temperaments had been Braig. He was missing, unfortunately. They hadn't spoken much as Nobodies, but it was hard for Ienzo to forget his guardian. The one who'd helped him realize his own interests and ideals.

Yes, Braig was untrustworthy. Ienzo had come to terms with that conclusion long ago. And yet, he came to realize that, while it put a strain on their relationship, he didn't necessarily need to trust Braig in order to care for him.

And then, still in his quarters was Dilan. Always the mysterious one and not without his own darkness, yet he somehow proved to be the most honorable and morally stable man that Ienzo had ever met. He was objective and blunt, yet kind and dignified. He held his ground no matter what he faced, and while he'd done terrible things during the time that he was in the Organization, it seemed that he hadn't fully been able to shake that.

Of course, they'd all made horrible decisions under the order of the Organization. That much was a given, and Ienzo was no exception to this. Even before that, though, his guardians couldn't exactly have been considered saints.

They weren't quite the perfect people, nor were they near the perfect guardians, but it never seemed to bother him. He didn't feel resentment towards them for being occasionally distant or for having no real experience raising a child, let alone one who'd lost his parents. No, he didn't hate them in the slightest. He never really minded those unfavorable traits, mainly because of the way he felt about them overall.

 _The way he felt about them,_ he repeated in his mind.

The way he felt about them was...

Well, it was hard to pinpoint the correct word. The men looked after him and took the places of his original parents. They'd tried as well as they could to teach him, to bring him up as an intelligent and world-changing person. No, they were not the best by any stretch, and they certainly didn't do the _best_ job of treating him well, but he found that he could forgive them for that.

And really, he could easily identify the emotion which made that possible. Ienzo placed a hand over his chest and felt his steady heartbeat.

He decided that he knew _exactly_ how he felt about them.


End file.
